just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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