we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
