Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
