you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
