are you so shy because you have an std?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
