Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
