So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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