yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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