Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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