you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
