oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
