i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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