Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
