when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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