theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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