It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
