God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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