i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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