I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You're completely useless in the revolution.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
