i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
smell my finger.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
