If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
