Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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