Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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