Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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