Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
