there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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