Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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