i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
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Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.