haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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