dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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