Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish you could order shots online.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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