My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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