If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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