i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize