I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
