No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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