so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
