she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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