help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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