if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
love makes seman taste better
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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