OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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