you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
