mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
