STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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