So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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