Fine. I'll sleep in my office
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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