You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
