I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
