i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
