dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
