Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
