I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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