Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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