fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
