i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
