I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
