I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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