just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
