Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
