I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
