just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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