The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
