i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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