you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
