And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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