I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
