Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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