Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
