so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize