I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
