Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
