her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
