your room smells of hookers.
And success
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just want to make out with him forever
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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