At least make sure they are 18
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"