i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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