There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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