I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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